Old Friends
by Broadwaylover5300
Summary: Amber meets some of her husband's old friends, and isn't sure how to react to all of them.  IQ/Tammy and a certain pairing I don't think I've ever seen done before... check it out inside!


**Well, here's a comedy fic for you! This is inspired by a few **_**I Love Lucy **_**episodes, so, yeah!**

**This is not a pairing I have seen done in any fics, but it makes sense… you know that black guy that was making eyes at Amber at the pageant and it looked like they could have gotten together? Well…that's what's happening here!**

**Amber is not evil here, nor will I ever write her such. She's really ditzy, though, so…yeah. They're married here, just so you know.**

A knock came at the door of Amber and Duane's apartment. Amber, exhausted from cleaning all morning (it was the only time she could find to do it; having a baby was hard work, much harder than she had imagined it being), came to the door and answered it. Tammy stood in the doorway. IQ, Tammy's husband, owned the apartment building that Amber and Duane lived in.

"Hi, Amber!" Tammy said brightly. She held up a nicely polished silver tray. "Here's that tray you wanted!"

"Oh, good!" Amber said, taking the tray. She made her way to the kitchen, saying, "Come on in, Tam."

Tammy followed Amber into the kitchen, only for her mouth to start watering at the rows of perfectly made hors d'oeuvres lined on the counter. As Amber began to pick them up and put them on the tray, Tammy made her way over to the counter.

"Oooh, look at 'em," Tammy said dreamily. "Boy, are you fancy." She moved to pick one up.

"Now you stop that!" Amber exclaimed. Tammy snapped her hand away. "I've got them all arranged just right."

"Who's coming?" Tammy asked, still eyeing the hors d'oeuvres.

"Some of Duane's friends," Amber replied.

"Really?" Tammy said, slowly moving her hand closer to one of the hors d'oeuvres.

"Yeah… STOP it!" Amber snapped. Amber began to think. "Gee, you know, Tammy, we've been married a while now and this is the first time any of Duane's friends have come to visit…"

"Hmmmm…" Tammy said as she made another move toward the food.

Amber slapped Tammy's hand as she continued. "…And you know they're gonna go and tell everybody what kind of a girl Duane married. My entire reputation depends on how I handle myself this afternoon."

"Ah, you'll do fine." Tammy had finally managed to get her hand on a hors d'oeuvre. Tammy lifted her hand to her mouth, only for Amber to push it down again. "Who are these people, anyway?" Tammy asked.

"Well, they're members of a dance group that Duane worked with for a while, and he's booked them into his nightclub to start them off on their national tour," Amber replied.

"Gee, that's exciting," Tammy said, starting to get starry-eyed.

"Yeah, it…" Amber heard voices coming from the stairwell. "They're here! I'll talk to you later," Amber said to Tammy, practically pushing her out the back door. Amber ripped off the bandanna she had around her head, shook her hair out, and opened the door just as Duane and his friends reached the top of the stairs. They entered and Amber closed the door behind them. They looked like they were from Mexico or Spain.

"Hey, honey," Duane said. He gave Amber a peck on the cheek. He gestured to his friends. "This is Carlos and this is Maria."

"How do you do?" Amber said in the most charming way she knew how. She took their coats and hung them up in the closet.

"Uh, honey," Duane said, "Did IQ bring up the wine?"

"Wine?" Amber asked.

"Yeah, I asked IQ to bring up two special bottles."

"Honey, I haven't seen it," Amber replied.

"Oh, I hope he didn't forget," IQ moved. He said something to his friends in Spanish and made his way downstairs.

Amber smiled. "Well, it certainly is nice to meet some of Duane's friends."

Carlos and Maria stared at Amber.

"Uh…" Amber fumbled. "I bet you wondered what I look like." She laughed. Carlos and Maria smiled in a friendly way.

Amber was really fishing for conversation now. "Uh…uh… what kind of person did you think Duane would marry?"

Carlos and Maria looked confused. They looked at each other. Amber, feeling just as confused as they looked, went to the kitchen, picked up the tray and took it into the living room.

"Would you like a hors d'oeuvre?" Amber smiled.

Carlos and Maria smiled and each took one.

"Gracias," Carlos said.

"Muchos gracias," Maria added.

Amber smiled. "So… Duane tells me you're going on tour. What's your next stop?"

Carlos and Maria looked at each other, confused again.

"We do not…" Carlos began, in a thick Spanish accent.

"Wedonot?" Amber asked. "Sounds like a place in Arkansas."

"Oh, no," Carlos said. "We…do not…speak English," he managed, obviously struggling.

"Oh!" Amber said. She was relieved, for now she knew that they didn't hate her, something she had been dreading. However, once that feeling wore off, she was filled with terror, for now she had no idea what to do. "Uh…well, would you like another hors d'oeuvre?" she asked.

They were about to respond when Duane came through the door, carrying two bottles of wine. He set them down on a table. "Hi, honey! Did you have a nice talk?" he asked.

"Well… I did a lot of talking," Amber said.

Duane slapped his head. "Oh, honey, I'm sorry! I forgot to tell you! They don't speak English."

"Uh, yeah, I sensed that while you were gone," Amber said.

"Well, shall we sit down?" Duane said. They all did so.

"Uh…" Amber began, eager to redeem herself. "Well, IT IS NICE TO MEET SOME OF DUANE'S FRIENDS AFTER ALL THESE YEARS," she said, loudly and slowly. Carlos and Maria looked at Duane. Duane translated for them.

Carlos and Maria looked at Amber. "Gracias," they said in unison.

Duane looked at her. "They're not hard of hearing, you know," he said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Amber blushed.

Carlos asked Amber something. Maria added to it.

"Beg pardon?" Amber asked.

"Uh, she wants to know if your hair color is natural," Duane said.

"Oh!" Amber said. "Well, tell 'em it's all natural! My father and mother both had blond hair."

Duane laughed a little.

Amber gave him a look. "Well, tell them."

Duane turned to Carlos and Maria and started talking, but halfway through, he started making a motion, like one would make when dyeing one's hair.

Amber pouted. "I think my hair suffered in that translation."

Carlos, Maria, and Duane then engaged in a long, ten-minute conversation in Spanish, during which Amber just sat like a deer in the headlights.

Duane seemed finally to realize that Amber was there. "Oh, I'm sorry, honey!" he said. "We were just talking about Renita Perez."

"Who?"

"Renita Perez. She'll be here any minute," Duane said. "She's in the group. When I was a member, we used to have a little solo dance together."

"Oh, I'd love to see you and little Renita dance," Amber smiled.

"Well, honey, I haven't done the routine in a long time," Duane replied.

"Now, nonsense."

"Okay, I'll do it," Duane laughed. Just then, the doorbell rang. Amber moved to answer it…

**This was originally going to be a one-shot, but it's just too long! I'll probably post another chapter tomorrow, if all goes well!**


End file.
